


Again

by humanyubel



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Karma - Freeform, Protective Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanyubel/pseuds/humanyubel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tears aren't the end of sin. You carry it heavy on your back forever"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Again

Ed's finished his notes for the day, all he can do is laze around on the couch while Al cooks them dinner. He'd never been good when it came to cooking, probably never would be. But he was still a little miffed after burning the popcorn five times in a row.

His arms fold themselves under his chin as he sits on his knees, watching his little brother cook their food. Al's movements were still awkward but he'd been getting better. Ed decides he likes watching Alphonse cook, it feels calming for some odd reason.

He almost wishes his brother would call out to him and ask for him to cut the vegetables. He doesn't. For a period of time the only sound is the boiling of the pot, the rustle of Alphonse's clothes and the  _tick tick tick_ of the clock on the wall.

When Al calls out that dinner's ready and fixes him with a smile, the same smile as  _her_ he almost starts shaking. He tells his brother he's not hungry, ignores the look of concern Al has. He ignores every thing but the  _tick tick tick_ of the clock and controlling his breathing. He absconds to their shared room.

He sits on his bed and weeps for a long while, fat tears slipping past his clenched eyes and sliding down his cheeks. He knows his face probably looks red and splotchy but he cares more about controlling the hitch of his breathing and containing his sobs. He can't quite stop the shakes that wrack his body.

He hears the  _tick tick tick_ of the clock and relaxes slightly. He sits there in the darkness of the room and counts the telling ticks of the clock to see how much time has gone by. Rubbing at his eyes he can't help but feel childish. ' _I really am just a child'_ He thinks to himself secretly.

He hears the noise of Alphonse cleaning up dinner and that almost calms him down further until he remembers that he's hiding away from his brother. Refusing to admit to being grief stricken. _There's no reason to mourn now_. _To feel scared now_.

Al comes in a few minutes after Ed hears the final plate be put away. He flicks on the light switch with his elbow, trying not to spill the two mugs hes carrying. He takes a seat next to Ed and hands him his own cup of hot chocolate.

"What's the matter, big brother?" He asks soflty as Ed takes and blows over his cup.

"Hehe, nothing wrong really..Just a lil' jealous that you're so good at cooking!" Ed says, grinning brightly. Al giggles a little at his brother's confession.

"I always did try to help her out in the kitchen when I could."

Ed covers his gasp with a cough. After a second he says "Sorry I choked on my hot chocolate, I think it's too hot.

Al doesn't mention that he knows Ed's is ice cold. Has been for awhile now. Ever since he made Ed's cup at dinner and he never came.

Al changes the subject quickly, asking how Ed's notes were coming along. Ed answers easily and they slip into a pattern. Joke about this, talk about their day, pretend to not be concerned about something they've barely just breached, and when it's time for bed they say their good nights as usual, both slip into their beds and try to fall asleep as quickly as possible.

Ed can't help but toss and turn for a long while, just remembering. When he can feel his eyelids start to droop, and it's getting harder to focus on one thought for too long; he hears it. Quiet and soft humming from the bed over.

He feels tears well up, rolling over and pressing his face into the pillow he tries to sleep and block out the noise. He doesn't want to hear it, _doesn't want to face it._

 _'Mother'_ he thinks.

It seems you really must pay for your sins.

_tick tick tick_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't care if this has been done before I might as well write it.  
> Title and summary from [ Again by Yui](http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/fma2009/fmaagain.htm)  
> 12.15.17
> 
> god this is such an old fic why did my writing suck so much back then?


End file.
